News alert, Obama invading Texas: only 40% of Texas Stupidparty disciples are not seriously insane morons – the few who do not fear an imminent government takeover.
This is the week Obama is set to invade Texas in order to to bash its politicians with a two by four to try and find signs of intelligent life. So let this be the week when we launch our full frontal attack on the three most Stupidparty states in the Union. We will provide all the information—the goal being to determine which is the most Stupidparty State of them all; having established that, we can then figure out how to avoid falling down the same hell hole and even offer these sad folk a road map to sanity.
The Competition will be between the Big Elephant in the room – Texas, the stalking post apoplectic Stalking Horse—Kansas and the Chicken Little State, just so silly that even mentioning its name without proper protection is too dangerous, potentially too contagious to be mentioned until every one has been equipped with appropriate protection. In order to analyze these three States, different analytical approaches will be used. In the case of Texas we feel that while we will continue to rely on our trademark adherence to facts – a bit of historical revisionism is in order to better reflect the infantile efforts of the Texas Board of Education to re-invent history – because they are Texans and they have the God-given right to do as they please. In order to get to the bottom of the second candidate in the running—Kansas, we are really lucky in that we can all benefit from some divine intervention, a totally unexpected assist from an infallible acquaintance.
Don’t be fooled by Kansas- in the second as this series of three posts proceeds I will be providing more mathematical tables – and Kansas will appear to be simply a rather average state. But that would be missing the point. Kansas has not so long ago just embarked on a rather massive effort in trickle down economics (i.e. tax cuts now for the wealthy) to be paid for later by the less well-off. The thing about tax cuts is that initially they will always be stimulative – except in case of Kansas, were they will be 700% less stimulative than they could have been. So such action will initially make the economy look better. But Kansas is now beyond that initial stage and inevitable dire problems are now emerging.
Finally we will get round to the unnamed third candidate – a candidate that lends itself to a purely mathematical analysis – a state so sad, so Stupidparty that it would both unkind and rather superfluous to do anything than just state the facts— let the facts do all the talking.
Please note I have chosen three very different types of States – and my analysis will mold itself as appropriate to allow for a triangulated perspective. Part 3, my final State, will be all Math, no humor so that ultimately the reader can decide— should they pick a Sate purely by the numbers or should they also include bigger picture type issues.
At the end of the exercise we will post a poll and let the reader decide which state wins top honors.
Steve Lowen says
Actually, Arizona will give Texas a good run to the bottom.
Arizona Governor, and Legislators just put into law reversible abortion option.
Patrick Andendall says
Once I have posted the three states – and if I feel that a strong case can be made for an additional State I will look into it. Yes Arizona certainly has some issues – but when I post the Math on the my third State (there will be a lot of charts) – you will see that one State is very special and significantly worse than Arizona on virtually every metric. Arizona is the ninth worst State when it comes to poverty. In the third blog of the series I will also compare the worst three states with the best two Blue States. You will see a huge difference.
Susan Garvin says
I can’t help myself: Poor New Mexico – so far from heaven, so close to Texas.